I Got Confidence In Me!

Although today was not as big as an adventure as yesterday, it still was and adventure.

After my blogging my last post last night (so glad so many people enjoyed it! Keep reading! As the guy at immigration told me when he let me into the UK after detaining me: "It'll get better."), I chatted with my parents via Skype. Since Dad was doing it on the phone and my family was in the car heading back to Jordan, I couldn't see them. My Mom asked me a billion and one questions about everything and anything. I told her as much as I could. It was nice to hear their voices (Hannah and Christie, where were you two?) but I was actually happy to be away from them. I wasn't home sick at all. Maybe that'll come in the next few weeks but at that moment, I felt at peace.

After I got up Skype with them, I made a cup of hot tea, went on my Netflix and watched Doctor Who. I couldn't really concentrate on what Rose and The Doctor were doing because a voice inside my head was screaming "OH MY GOD! TEA? DOCTOR WHO? LONDON? I'M LIVING THE DREAM!" I really was on cloud 9. Some American Tourist like to look for a Red Telephone Booth to stand in and take a picture. Not me. I'm looking for The TARDIS (Yes, there are a few around London. I'll take a picture with me with one soon... Also Platform 9 3/4 is on my list too of "Geek Site Seeing.")

After a while, I got a little tried and deiced to go to bed. I turned of my laptop and claimed into bed. I watched Bruno and The Craft on and off for a wile before I finally fell asleep. I woke up several times in the night. Each time was moment of panic of "Where am I?". But that was gone within seconds and I remembered where I was, and went back to sleep. When I finally woke up, I stayed in my bed for a while. Today was a "relax" day. I didn't have to do anything I didn't want to. I didn't have to be at Roehampton till the next morning. But I was hungry. I should a least get breakfast that was offered down at the bar.

I got out of bed and turned on my computer... 10:18. Damn. Breakfast ended at 10. I missed it by 18 minutes. I checked my Facebook and got a message from my Mom telling me to make sure I get stuff I need for school and a cell phone.

So I did have to go out today. But where could I fined all the stuff I needed? It was going to be a long day of walking around the streets of London, going into shops and talking in my American accent. I went on googled and googled "Wandsworth Shopping" and to my surprise, there was a shopping mall full of stores, restaurants and a movie theatre. What surprised me the most was that it was across the street from where the graveyard I spent most of my day at in. The mall was a block away! Someone "up there" must really like me...

After I got dressed, I deiced to put on make-up. I always wear a little at school and putting on make-up for me is my way to focus on the day ahead; Keeping me calm. But today, I deiced to put on some eyeliner, which turned out to be a mistake. If you did Antigone 5.9 with me or did high school musicals with me, you'd know that I can't put on eyeliner if my life deepened on it. I always look like a raccoon or a Tim Burton cartoon. You can imagine me, in my hotel bathroom, trying to swipe mascara off my face, making it worst. I even got some in my eye and started running around the small bathroom in pain with tears falling from my stinging eyes. Not a fun way to start you day.

After I got my eyeliner under control, I grabbed my wallet and headed out the door. I deiced that the quickest way to the mall was trough the graveyard. I love graveyards and I wish I had brought my camera with me today! I got to the mall and was shocked to see a lot of same stores. One of my favourites was the "One Pound" store. It's a dollar store! How cool!

The first thing I did was get a phone. The guy helping me was very nice. We worked out a pay as you go monthly plan. My phone was possibly the biggest thing in phones in 2001. It only calls people and sends text. There's not even a camera. But hey, it works for me. It just sucks because I had an iPhone 5 before I came here so this must be one of the worst down grades ever. I then got a lot of shower stuff at this Beauty supply store. Now I could use nice shampoo and not the hotel kind!

What I learned through all this was I had to be confident. I was so nervous that some sales people treated me like I was almost special needs. I had to hold my head up high as I walked around the mall, pretend I knew what I was doing and fake it. After I got that through my head I became more, and more relaxed. It also seemed like I was being more accepted in a weird way. By changing the way I thought about myself and stood, I became a whole new person, ready to take on the world. It was a remarkable thing to discover in a mall.

I deiced to eat after I browsed through T. J. Maxx. I hadn't eaten since the muffin on the plane ride so I had to get some food in my system quickly before I passed out. I went to this place called "Ed's." It was a knock-off of a 1950's American Diner. I got chicken tenders and sweet potato fires with Water. The food felt good in m stomach. The waitress were very nice and seemed to like that fact that I said "Thank you" a lot. To they not get that a lot. It was weird sitting by myself and having nothing to do. So I did on of my favorite acting training: people watching. I watched everyone around me and watched a couple falling in love, a couple falling a part, a happy mother with her daughter, a not so happy mother with her children, a father and son looking like it was the best day every and two teenagers picking at their food while gossiping. People watching is a great way to pick up little bits for characters and such.

After lunch, I deiced to head back to the hotel and rest. I carried my bags through the graveyard, to my hotel and up my stairs. I then deiced to take a short nap. I woke up a few hours later and it was dark outside. I talked to my parents via Skype, but this time, I could see there faces. It was a nice talk. Mom was still in her PJs and Dad was about to leave for work. Mom didn't want me to go outside because it was dark but I told her I had to go eat. Mom also told me to get a list a clock radio/ iPod charger for school. I told her I would Skype with her soon and headed out the door.

From the hotel to the mall (I didn't go through the graveyard, I went through main street), I got a lot of nods of approvals from guys, even guys who were my age and cute! Was it the eyeliner? The red coat I was wearing? My hair? No. I believe it was once again, my new found confidence. Because I saw myself as "This is wear I belong", other people did too.

When I got to the mall, it was closing, I ran into an electronic store and bought and iPod alarm clock. I decide to walk back to my hotel through the graveyard. It was cool walking through such an old graveyard at night. I didn't feel scared about ghost or rotting zombies. It was peaceful and quiet. I quickly dropped off my stuff in my room and went to the store down the road to get some food for dinner.

While walking back, I saw a cat sitting in a driveway. "Don't be late to the Jellicale Ball." I thought to myself, thinking about T.S. Eliot and the musical Cats.

Now, I have to go get ready for tomorrow. It's going to be a big day. I'm seeing Roehapmton for the first time. It's going to be great. I just need to wake up before check out.

I have to remember to be confident. Fake it till you make it!

Defy Gravity
Melanie