Breathe... Just Breathe

I woke up on Saturday morning and looked out my window. F***... Snow. Lots of it. The joys of living in Upstate New York. I knew there was no way we were going to drive to Maryland in this weather. I was sort of upset but at the same time, I felt sort of happy to have one last day to get everything ready and snuggle in my bed, and drink tea... I took the time to enjoy my day, something I've never really mastered. Even on my rare days off, I had the hardest time relaxing. My "Snow Day" was just what I needed before I left for Maryland.

I didn't allow myself to get stressed until about 7 pm. That was when I had to weigh my suitcases, pack the things I still needed to back, print out some important information that of course had to wait to the very last minute (Welcome to the Zehner's!) and get a hair cut from my sister, Christie, who is a licenced cosmologist. It was good to get all of my dead ends cut off and vent to her. I think they taught her that at Cos school; How to make people tell you there deepest, most personal thoughts while washing there hair...

After I shoved a copy of Howel's Moving Castle into my carry-on (Thanks Jackie!), I decide to take a much needed break and what better way to enjoy my last Snowed in Saturday Night by having a Sex and the City Night with Christie; A tradition that we had started in 2009 when HBO on Demand came into our lives. We both owned our own Complete Sex and the City Series Box Set that I will have to, sadly, leave behind. We watched the first six episodes of season 1. I was going to miss this. If it wasn't Christie and I's Sex and the City Night, it was Hannah and I's Twilight Movie Marathon (Don't judge!). I was going to miss both of my sisters and our crazy traditions deeply. The only way I was going to talk to them now was via Skype or Facebook. It was sad. I never knew how much I connected with then.

After Christie and I swore to make "Team Aidan" (Me) and "Team Big" (Christie) shirts for when I cam back, we knew it was time to go to bed. I laid in my bed for hours trying to sleep, but I just couldn't my stomach was all in knots and I just couldn't get my racing thoughts to stay a ease. I must of fallen asleep because I found myself startled awake by my Mom calling me. It was 6:45 am but I felt so awake. It borderline mania how excited I was. I skipped around the house getting ready. I woke up my sisters singing: "I'm leaving for London. Get up!". I even told my Mother I looked very "Jackie O." in my new read coat... When did I become a WASP? We all got into the car at 7:30 am. The roads were horrible! We were sliding all over the place but I felt so happy to leave.

Goodbye House! Goodbye Jordan, NY! Goodbye Upstate New York!

We stopped at Denny's in Camillus. Hannah talked about how she loved how much I was in my blog and I should mention her more (Shout out to Hannah... I guess). He had to eat quickly. I had two pancakes, hash browns and an ice tea. Yum!

Right after breakfast, we headed off to Maryland. The roads got better and better. It got to the point were there was no snow at all. I fell asleep in the car for a little while. I woke up to this pain in my mouth. I was biting my own tongue. Dumb me. The trip to Grandma's house seemed to go by fast. I listened to Matilda the Musical, my new Ramin Karimioo album and my Josh Groban Playlist. By 2 pm, we were about 20 minutes aways, but starving. We stopped at this very nice Grill and Bar. I ate this Flatbread Pizza and fries. I also had some of Mom's Nachos and more ice tea. Mom had taken some of her pain meds for her back and started to dance to the music in the bathroom. Embarrassing.

When we got to Grandma's, Dad got ready for a Redskins Football Game he got tickets to thanks to and old friend from high school, Mom took a nap, Christie and Hannah goofed around and I got on Facebook and talked to my SCT/ School friend, Val and my Mexican BFF, Jeovany. Since Jeo has gone through being an exchange student (he studied at Potsdam this semester) he's been great at keeping me calm, motivated and has inspired me to be great in London (Love ya, Jeo!).

After I got off Facebook, Grandma made dinner for Me, Hannah and Christie. I didn't eat dinner but we had a great talk about politics, movies, journals, and my Uncle Matthew who died a few years ago. Grandma got triey-eyed.

After dinner, Mom got up and me, Mom, Christie and Hannah went to go see Sliver Lining Playbook at this beautiful, old movie theatre. It took forever to find a parking spot and it took forever to get the right order at the Candy Counter. The movie was amazing. It really hit close to home. It didn't hit me until we left the theatre and I began to cry...

... And that's when it hit me. "Holy s***! I'm going to London tomorrow! I really am going!"

As I sit here at my Grandma's computer, listening to mys siters' making funny videos on my Mom's iPad, I'm starting to get a little freaked out. I'm not going to be in my safe box anymore. I'm going to be out of my safety net and in the real world. I'm shaking right now. My chest is so heavy. My body is freezing.

I had this kick ass student director named Becca, who told me that whenever she is stressed, she listed to the song "Breathe (2 am)" by Anna Nalick. "Breathe, Just Breathe."... It's going to be on repeat tonight. Everything will workout.

One more thing, I always make the same wish every New Years Eve: "This year, I'm going to Defy Gravity." Funny how I'm going to be on a plane when the clock strikes 12 on New Years Eve...

Wish Me Well!!

Defy Gravity
Melanie